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When a Sheep is Not a Sheep – A “Big” Consultant Story
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"

The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."

The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the Internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response.

Finally, he prints out a 150 page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep".

"That is correct, take one of the sheep," said the shepherd.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car. Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"

"OK, why not," answered the young man.

"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.

"That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required," answers the shepherd. "You turned up here, although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business. Now give me back my dog!"

Author Unknown

 

Quotes
"If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?"
- Will Rogers

"Be prepared and be honest."
- John Wooden

"When you were born you cried and the world rejoiced…Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice."
- Cherokee Saying

"Pain is temporary. Quitting is forever."
- Lance Armstrong

“My dream was to follow in the steps of Hemingway, Elliot Paul and Gertrude Stein,” he wrote. “I wanted to stuff myself with baguettes and snails, fill my pillow with rejection slips and find a French girl named Mimi who believed that I was the greatest writer in the world.” - Art Buchwald

"You hear the one about the fella who died, went to the pearly gates? St. Peter lets him in. Sees a guy in a suit making closing argument. Says who’s that? St. Peter says Oh, that’s God. Thinks he’s Denny Crane.”
- Denny Crane

“It’s fun being me.”
- Denny Crane

"Consider the rights of others before your own feelings and the feelings of others before your own rights."
- John Wooden

Fishing
Coastal Conservation Association – Maine: www.cca-maine.org
Maine fly fishing: www.maineflyfishing.com
On the Water: www.onthewater.com

Weather
www.accuweather.com

Travel
Big Sky, MT: www.bigskyresorts.com

Tide Charts
www.maineharbors.com
www.tidesonline.com